I have put it off long enough, now it is time for me to get radiated. Kaiser Redwood City does not have radiation services available so they send people like me to Sequoia Hospital (up on the Alameda de las Pulgas.)

I went there for my planning appointment a few days ago. This is where they tell you what the process will be like, and alert you to potential side effects.

When I met with the radiation oncologist, she informed me that I would be getting 3-4 tattoos on my breasts. Well, that sounded kind of cool! I have always wanteda tattoo but have decided against it because I am pain-adverse. Now I was going to get not only one but maybe four and they would all be FREE and in the name of cancer squelching.

So, while the doctor yapped about potential damage to my lungs and scarring on my breasts, I started thinking about my tattoos. I wondered if they would show me a big book of tattoos to choose from and if I would get to pick more than a few colors. I hoped they would give me a few days or even a few weeks to pick my designs as I really like to deliberate on decisions like this.

The doctor interrupted my thoughts to tell me that it was now time to get set up on the radiation table and get my tattoos. YIKES! I was going to have to pick my tattoos on the spot! Oh well. Being a cheap hospital, the choices were likely not going to be elaborate. I started to think that I would probably choose one of those elegant rose tattoos instead of something more tawdry like Brad on one breast and Pitt on the other

I went to the radiation room and met the techs who were very nice and put me on the table. I lay on the metal table (I guess they dont want you to get TOO comfortable) and let them mark me up and measure me. I really wanted to talk to them about my tattoos and get the tattoo book to look at but I did not want to be a nuisance.

Next thing you know the tech is saying "Okay, I am going to tattoo you" and before I could say "Wait... I want the roses, and make sure the red doesn't look too dark" the guy was zapping me with some little gun thing and telling me it was time to get up.

Everyone who has been through radiation probably knows where this story is going. These so-called tattoos are neither ornamental nor elegant! They are just little black dots that look like someone poked me with a ballpoint pen.

What a ripoff cancer treatment can be!

I will officially start radiation in a few weeks. I am now up in the air about riding my bike back and forth. But I have a few weeks to get it together so stay tuned. I am still recuperating from chemo and it does not help me much to make advance plans as I am never quite sure how I am going to feel.

In addition to the tattoo incident there have been other forays to fantasyland. My hair has started to grow back. At this point it is like peach fuzz and seems to grow a bit every day. At first the new hair looked blond. How exciting! I was telling someone over the phone about my new blond hair and I caught Flora rolling her eyes at Phred and realized that the new hair is white not blond.

Bummer, dude.

Meanwhile, my eyelashes are growing back and I hope my eyebrows make an appearance in the near future. I am SO sick of being the neighborhood cue ball.

In other news, Flora and I are enjoying summer and a wild card Tour de France. If this were any other year I would be ending this email by saying "Go Lance!"

Go Lance anyway! Us cancer survivors still have a lot of battles to win.