Then, I, Jimena Bond, the 21st century 007, would have a Q to bring by the latest and greatest of secret devices to fight the evil, weird, villain (that would be cancer of course) and the secret devices would not have crummy side effects.

If only.

Now here is something that I didnt know until very recently: the chemo drugs have a cumulative effect. If anyone needs a translation, this means that I am now hating this whole thing.

We will start at the beginning. I hate cancer. First it took my Mom and dragged her and our family around a pole like a fast flying tether ball that no one could stop for FOURTEEN YEARS. And yes, we are thankful that we got that much time, however painful.

And now it has sunk its teeth into me. There I was, happy go lucky, walking down the street whistling with joy and next thing you know I have a big, serious, scary problem and all I can think is: I did this before via my Mom and it sucked the first time. Why me?

And why not me?

Indeed.

On Friday I get my fourth and final infusion of this set of drugs. I really don't want to go. Every time I think about the chemo room I get nauseous.

Why not put it off for a week?

Stanford colleagues Ruth and Cathy came by and brought me lunch today. They encouraged me to just go and get this infusion over with. I deny, by the way, that 90% of the conversation was devoted to Brad, Angelina, Jessica, Nick and Britney.

They also came a month or two ago and brought lunch and I got in a big argument with Cathy (subject classified) and Ruth sat politely and watched and smiled and after they left I remembered my final point as to why I was right and why Cathy was wrong but never got around to sending an email to claim my victory.

Today I could not think of anything to disagree about with Cathy about and sat there in a docile manner and thanked her for encouraging me to consume a few more pints of terrifically deadly poisons.

Yes, the effects of chemo are cumulative.

My friend Steve, who is as loyal to me as he is to 007, says this story WILL end like a James Bond movie. The evil and weird villains keep capturing me but I will keep getting away.

Why not?