I am stuck in a Colorado snowstorm and my brother (Scott, of scotthelmke.com) has taken a lot of time to help me edit the web site while we eat leftover holiday candy and watch the snow fall.

Reading and re-reading my posts has brought some many memories, some good and some bad. As much as chemo sucked, I have fond memories of watching all of those Bond movies and becoming a fixture in my neighborhood. I am amazed at the generosity of my friends and family - those who travelled many miles to visit and care for me and those who brought lunches and stories. Truly it took a village to help me get through cancer and I am thankful for everyone's contributions.

On the last day of the year, I have never felt such a distinction between where I was at the beginning of the year and where I am now.

At this time last year, I was working four days a week and could not imagine working five. Until April (when my Herceptin treatments ended) I took Wednesdays off which was wholly necessary. I needed those Wednesdays to rest, go to the doctor, and rest. My weekends were spent resting and trying to feel normal. I missed many social occasions due to fatigue and got used to the idea that maybe I would never have much energy again.

Finally in June or July I did return to "normal" and started really feeling like myself again. What ensued was a wonderful summer and a busy and exciting fall. Work was fun and rewarding as I cranked the bike program up to full gear at Stanford with a group of smart and high-energy students helping me out.

I am hoping that this was my one cancer experience. Unfortunately, one of the trademarks of being a survivor is living with the fear of recurrence. I would like to think that I do not let the fear control me but it is a part of who I am now.

Thanks again to one and all for being a friend. Peace and love!